I'm sick in the head

[jmcslob]

So after the bustle of Christmas I finally got to sleep around 4am..
I didn't get much sleep as my wife kept kicking me in her sleep, not hard just enough to wake me up, so anyways she went to wake me up at 1pm and I was not ready to wake up.

She tried for about 5 minutes to get me up and gave up, she wanted me to put a DVR in my daughters room before she got back from her grandmothers house.

I laid in bed for about 15 minutes after she left and then got up and went right to getting the DVR stuff done but the Dish Network Remote does not work with her new TV so I asked my wife to call Tech support while I finished up.

Then I needed some cables that were all tangled up and got really pissed about having a hard time getting the cables free but got em none the less.

I went back and got everything connected and 30 minutes later I came back down stairs and asked about what Tech had said and she said she had not yet called them because I was throwing a Fit and she wanted to wait till I calmed down, which absolutely pissed me off like i've never been pissed before....

We started to argue and I don't think I was making any sense at all..

I was just so pissed I got woken up for something and she couldn't even do her part...

I started to come to my senses but then she kept telling how stupid i was being, I even tried to agree, but she would not stop.

I started screaming like a mad man for her to Shut the Fuck Up as nothing I said got me anywhere but Bitched at.

I tried to just calm down and leave the situation just to be followed and bitched at..

Then I went crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I punched my solid Oak coffee table into wood chips Literally....

I just could not hear it anymore....

I would like to add I was on 7 hours sleep over the last 4 days....

Even after that she just kept screaming at me and following me Bitching....

I kept trying to get away......

i finally got my keys and left the house for an hour or so when I got back my daughter was home in her room.....
my wife tried to call her down so she could explain to her That I was an Asshole and at that point I clearly said if you want me to explain whats going I would after we got things resolved because it's not good for her to even see what had already happened and IMHO but she just kept going so I left again but forgot my wallet I wanted to go elsewhere for a few days...

Once my wife realized I was literally done she stopped bitching and started talking....

Trust me I know everything I did was wrong and there is no excuse for any of it.. But TBH if she was a guy It would have been her and not the coffee table....

Anyways we talked things over and seemed to be fine by the end of the night..

Then this mourning We were starting to watch The Browns game when she started to Bitch again about stuff like was my Grandma's ring in the coffee table Draw, even though just 2 days ago it was established it was in an upstairs jewelery box...

At that point I said I'm not spending two days like this and removed myself from the room and went upstairs...
She followed me and said she was just getting dressed to take my daughter to the mall...But then started to argue with me....at this point MY heart literally skipped a beat and I started to get chest pains...seriously

I grabbed my BB Curve and shattered it on the wall took off my wedding ring and said your not worth me dieing Right now and said we are through and That i had enough....

At this point she wanted to talk things over again which just turned into more arguing at which point she gave up and went to the mall and here I am now......

I'm not right anymore....
i think somethings wrong in my head....
Everythings wrong... i don't seem to be perceiving anything right anymore and i Think I need help...and don't know what to do.....

I can't seem to get my anger under control and I'm starting to scare myself...

i think I need to be by myself cause I'm afraid of what i'll do....

i'm so pissed I can't see anything right....NOTHING

I can't stop crying

sorry if this makes no sense but it's hard to see the screen as my tears are blurring my vision...

[Kurosagi]

maybe i am being a bit sexist but girls always think their right in every way you can think of when they are not.
Should just cool down your temper and think about the situation before opening your mouth,i mean you wouldn't want to have a huge fallout with your wife right? deep down you love her.
Should just try and stay calm in all situations,well its normal for us guys to scream at girls because we get bad temper easily but we need stay calm and remember shes a woman and your a guy.

[Black Panther]

http://www.orkut123.com/images/hugs/3.gif

I'm so sorry for the hard time you went through. Right now I can't think of anything of substance to say, though it sure hurts when family members can't understand each other. What I know from experience that such incidents aren't totally your fault, but neither are they totally hers. It takes two to tango and just the same it takes two persons to quarrel and equally two persons to understand each other.

You surely did right to share over here. Personally I found out that just writing out my emotions acts as a catharsis and makes me feel better. It's even better if you share your emotions with others, like you just did.

[MT Alex]

I know it sounds pathetic, but if I were in your situation I would call my Mom or Dad. Seriously, even if you don't get along with them all of the time, no one knows you better than they do, they know the more rational calm side of you and recognize that you aren't the angry juggernaut that you fear you may be. If they aren't alive anymore, I would call a favorite Uncle, Aunt, and so on. Getting in touch with the people you know and love can have a grounding effect, and maybe they have better ideas how to smooth you out.

And lay off the grass for awhile. I finally had to give it up 2 years ago because it wasn't working the way it used to in my head, leading to some episodes like you had earlier today. And I was an everyday, all day long, wake and bake sort of guy. If a quarter lasted more than 2 days I was lucky.

Christmas time can really stress a guy out, either because of all of the money we spend, too much time doing what we don't want to do, and sometimes forced close contact with people we think are hand jobs. Best wishes, and some people think it is a batch of crap, but I'll say a prayer for you as well.

[jmcslob]

http://www.orkut123.com/images/hugs/3.gif

I'm so sorry for the hard time you went through. Right now I can't think of anything of substance to say, though it sure hurts when family members can't understand each other. What I know from experience that such incidents aren't totally your fault, but neither are they totally hers. It takes two to tango and just the same it takes two persons to quarrel and equally two persons to understand each other.

You surely did right to share over here. Personally I found out that just writing out my emotions acts as a catharsis and makes me feel better. It's even better if you share your emotions with others, like you just did.
It's really not her it's me and i know it.....She really did nothing for me to act like this....

normally nothing she did would have any negative effect on me....
My emotions are way!!! out of Wack!
I know it sounds pathetic, but if I were in your situation I would call my Mom or Dad. Seriously, even if you don't get along with them all of the time, no one knows you better than they do, they know the more rational calm side of you and recognize that you aren't the angry juggernaut that you fear you may be. If they aren't alive anymore, I would call a favorite Uncle, Aunt, and so on. Getting in touch with the people you know and love can have a grounding effect, and maybe they have better ideas how to smooth you out.

And lay off the grass for awhile. I finally had to give it up 2 years ago because it wasn't working the way it used to in my head, leading to some episodes like you had earlier today. And I was an everyday, all day long, wake and bake sort of guy. If a quarter lasted more than 2 days I was lucky.

Christmas time can really stress a guy out, either because of all of the money we spend, too much time doing what we don't want to do, and sometimes forced close contact with people we think are hand jobs. Best wishes, and some people think it is a batch of crap, but I'll say a prayer for you as well.
I never smoke when something bothers me....
That's good advice, my stomachs a mess but I got Bentyl to Help

Oddly I think I figured out whats wrong here and it's me.....

I don't act like this....I literally went crazy....

I think it's from taking Clariton D...
I have had problems with pseudophed and did not know I was taking it......

It causes me NOT to BE ABLE TO SLEEP RIGHT and I go CRAZY....
I started having problems Literally 2 hours after taking my first dose...

I got a little fucked up a few years back in a work accident it took a toll on me and some hormones and what not don't react the way they used to before the accident with certain drugs and chemicals...

It's wearing off and I'm going to the DR's tomorrow......

I have no insurance and I'm sure it'll cost me but I need to get help something just is not right with me right now...

and I'm literally scared i could do something stupid......
My wife is taking my daughter to Toledo which was planned (for all of us) but is now necessary for just them two to go

[erocker]

You:
Feel angry all the time?
Are losing weight?
Not getting sleep?
Sweaty?
Feel hot?
Trouble eating?

[xfire]

I always tend to fight or get pissed when I don't get enough sleep. Lock yourself in the room and sleep till you're sick of sleeping.

[jmcslob]

You:
Feel angry all the time?
Are losing weight?
Not getting sleep?
Sweaty?
Feel hot?
Trouble eating?

Not all the time it comes and goes, but quite a bit the last 2 days and for no good reason
yes loosing weight
Not much sleep
Oddly yes my palms have been sweaty
It could be a little cooler in here
I'm just not hungry
Why?

[JC316]

I think it's from taking Clariton D...


It may very well be from that. I used to take Allegra, which is an allergy medicine and I was mean as a rattlesnake. Irrational, unreasonable, and scary mean. I was ready, willing and able to beat the living shit out of a guy over a PARKING PLACE!

He was ahead of us on the main road and the parking space was on the side aisle, he went just ahead of the curb for the aisle and we were just behind it. He tried to back up, but my dad jumped the curb to reach the space first, well Mr Spoiled that saw it first starts honking like mad and cussing us. My dad let him have it and found another place a few aisles down. Well, I saw the guy walking and it took both my parents and my sister to keep me from running him down and cleaning the parking lot with him.

I also mangled a few tennis rackets for missing a difficult shot that I though I could have made. Cussed like a mad man, screamed at my parents at the top of my lungs for calling me down, etc etc. Come to find out that a rare percentage of people that took Allegra had drastic mood swings and anger issues. Once I cut it out, I regained my cool.

[jmcslob]

It may very well be from that. I used to take Allegra, which is an allergy medicine and I was mean as a rattlesnake. Irrational, unreasonable, and scary mean. I was ready, willing and able to beat the living shit out of a guy over a PARKING PLACE!

He was ahead of us on the main road and the parking space was on the side aisle, he went just ahead of the curb for the aisle and we were just behind it. He tried to back up, but my dad jumped the curb to reach the space first, well Mr Spoiled that saw it first starts honking like mad and cussing us. My dad let him have it and found another place a few aisles down. Well, I saw the guy walking and it took both my parents and my sister to keep me from running him down and cleaning the parking lot with him.

I also mangled a few tennis rackets for missing a difficult shot that I though I could have made. Cussed like a mad man, screamed at my parents at the top of my lungs for calling me down, etc etc. Come to find out that a rare percentage of people that took Allegra had drastic mood swings and anger issues. Once I cut it out, I regained my cool.Yeah
it's like i'm flipping out over nothing, for no reason and I'm not like that....

Unless something seriously fucked up happens i generally keep my emotions under control and act rationally and even when it's really fucked up i don't just snap like this I feel like It's somebody else and not me.

I normally take Zyrtec But the Pharmacy didn't have any so I got Clariton-D 24 hour(generic)

But that may be a coincidence to something else, I'll try and find out later on today...

I really wish I could go to sleep....I'll try to lay down but I bet I just lay there and not sleep..

I tried counting sheep!!! I made it to 1318 before it started to piss me off that I can't fall asleep, then I started giggling uncontrollably cause the sheep I imagined looked like the Serta sheep.....
That's not like me....Normally I would have started off laughing about imagining the Serta Sheep and would not have gotten pissed at all...


Ok I'm going back to bed

[Wile E]

Yeah
it's like i'm flipping out over nothing, for no reason and I'm not like that....

Unless something seriously fucked up happens i generally keep my emotions under control and act rationally and even when it's really fucked up i don't just snap like this I feel like It's somebody else and not me.

I normally take Zyrtec But the Pharmacy didn't have any so I got Clariton-D 24 hour(generic)

But that may be a coincidence to something else, I'll try and find out later on today...

I really wish I could go to sleep....I'll try to lay down but I bet I just lay there and not sleep..

I tried counting sheep!!! I made it to 1318 before it started to piss me off that I can't fall asleep, then I started giggling uncontrollably cause the sheep I imagined looked like the Serta sheep.....
That's not like me....Normally I would have started off laughing about imagining the Serta Sheep and would not have gotten pissed at all...


Ok I'm going back to bed

Claritin D has pseudoephedrin in it. It's most likely why you can't sleep, and might also explain the rage, as it's a speeder.

[JC316]

Yeah
it's like i'm flipping out over nothing, for no reason and I'm not like that....

Unless something seriously fucked up happens i generally keep my emotions under control and act rationally and even when it's really fucked up i don't just snap like this I feel like It's somebody else and not me.

I normally take Zyrtec But the Pharmacy didn't have any so I got Clariton-D 24 hour(generic)

But that may be a coincidence to something else, I'll try and find out later on today...

I really wish I could go to sleep....I'll try to lay down but I bet I just lay there and not sleep..

I tried counting sheep!!! I made it to 1318 before it started to piss me off that I can't fall asleep, then I started giggling uncontrollably cause the sheep I imagined looked like the Serta sheep.....
That's not like me....Normally I would have started off laughing about imagining the Serta Sheep and would not have gotten pissed at all...


Ok I'm going back to bed

I am the same way, always keeping my cool, but on that crap, I was a whole different animal. Had a steroid like effect on me, I would completely flip over the stupidest things and it felt like I had no control over myself.

Claritin D has pseudoephedrin in it. It's most likely why you can't sleep, and might also explain the rage, as it's a speeder.

+1
Ephedrine was all the rage back in the 80's and 90's. It was literally herbal speed. My mom used to take Escalation in the late 80's for weight loss, it was pure Ephedrine and she would bounce off the walls, she barely ate or slept for weeks at a time.

[paulieg]

Considering my background as a crisis counselor and being married to a psychologist, I have trouble not trying to diagnose when I hear syptoms like this. I gotta ask, have you ever been diagnosed and/or treated for an anxiety or panic disorder? The reason I ask is that it's typical for an anxious person with sleep deprivation to experience the exact sypmtoms you describe.

I am the same way, always keeping my cool, but on that crap, I was a whole different animal. Had a steroid like effect on me, I would completely flip over the stupidest things and it felt like I had no control over myself.

+1
Ephedrine was all the rage back in the 80's and 90's. It was literally herbal speed. My mom used to take Escalation in the late 80's for weight loss, it was pure Ephedrine and she would bounce off the walls, she barely ate or slept for weeks at a time.


Psuedoephidin and Ephedrine are cousins. However, you would have to take several doses of psuedoephidrine based allegy medications to come close to the effects of even a small 25mg dose of Ephedrine. Normal dosing could cause sleep problem, but certainly not rage. Trust me on this. Whatever happened was a mix of things. Anxiety, lack of sleep and a medication that can cause insomnia could certainly cause you to snap.

[jmcslob]

I got back from the Dr's at 10 this morning....

I had a blood test done...
and will be getting another friday along with an ultra sound on a few organs like my heart and liver......

I was told I cannot take any controlled released drugs anymore as this is a likely cause due to that work injury.....

It's likely that instead of getting the 240mg of Pseudophedrine over 24hours i was getting it all in 4 hours which can quickly cause some very serious problems...

And for awhile I'm being prescribed a low dose Voltaren- which is risky cause of that work injury However I seem to have burst a few Veins in my Feet and legs over the last few days and my BP is 90/133 my norm is 80/120 and it was checked just 1 month ago so it would seem the benefits outweigh the risks at the moment....


I'm still very weary about all that......

I never want to see my wife and daughter look at me like that again....I may need to seek counseling from that...

it was like watching myself it seemed like everything was third person point of view...

i am feeling better but Now I'm kind of in shock from knowing I can be like that....

My wife decided to stay home and sent my daughter to grandma's house.....

This is the worst thing I have ever been through and I've been through some shit...

But loosing control of yourself is Horrible!!!!!!!

I am more than a little depressed over this and I think it's gonna be some time before i feel normal again....

I don't know why but explaining all of this to strangers seems to be helping

I really liked that coffee table too... it was $500 from OAK Express...

I don't think my wife looks at me the same now:(

[erocker]

If it's a medical conditon they will understand. Have you gotten the blood test results back?

[JC316]

Psuedoephidin and Ephedrine are cousins. However, you would have to take several doses of psuedoephidrine based allegy medications to come close to the effects of even a small 25mg dose of Ephedrine. Normal dosing could cause sleep problem, but certainly not rage. Trust me on this. Whatever happened was a mix of things. Anxiety, lack of sleep and a medication that can cause insomnia could certainly cause you to snap.

Yeah I know. Psuedo is the synthetic form IIRC. I can't take Psuedoephedrine because it gives me lightheadedness and makes me space out. The raised blood pressure is from it. My mom could hit 140 over 90 with a 24 Sudafed. It's really bad shit, there is a reason that they make Crystal Meth out of this shit.

[jmcslob]

If it's a medical conditon they will understand. Have you gotten the blood test results back?
They will be in tomorrow My Dr can only test for certain stuff and he sent it to the Lab (1/2 miles away)

He is looking for a wide spectrum of Hormones and what not to Compare to Previous Tests and then wants to do another friday to compare against today's ...


He wanted me to stay for a few nights at the Hospital but i cannot afford $1500 a night just for the Room plus whatever the medical costs would be.

He said if i have any reactions to go straight to the hospital...
But i think he can be a hypochondriac.....

Voltaren is not something I can take for any prolonged period of time but he feels I need it.....

I feel so calm right now.....
I think Voltaren makes me Stupid as well.....