How to tell my parents about my secret girlfriend in Detroit?

[T3hPwn3r3r]

My girlfriend is 17, I am 19, she lives in Detroit with her family, who love me. I have a dependable car with 50,000 miles on it, I make 1000$/mo and have made the trip to Detroit 10-11 times without their knowing. I am a relatively skilled driver.

My parents have the title to my car in their name and are the sole reason I get my scholarship, they give me housing, food, and do my laundry, but they don't know.

Problem is, I love this girl. So much. I love her family and I love the city.

I brought up the idea of a road trip (they don't know about her or the trips) to Detroit and they told me that I would be wasting my time and money, and hate the idea of me being in a long distance relationship.

They need to know though. I love this girl. I love the city. How do I tell them without them kicking me out? Do I just keep hiding it?

http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs125.snc3/17276_373297545245_652345245_10298256_7345584_n.jp g

(r)

[Steevo]

Don't worry, you will stop loving her after she discovers the freedom of alcohol, drugs, and open sex.


After knowing couples that started early, almost none made it. 90% was the girls fault. She discovered that her BFF boyfriend coudn't provide the easy lifestyle her parents gave her, and they being "free" with herself gets her gifts. From there it is just a matter of time.

Split it, lick it and hit it while you are stil young. Then move on up to the cougers, and divorced women who make it on their own, then from there (years later) find a good young girl who you can provide for, stay in shape, take your viagra and keep her happy so she can be someone elses couger.

[T3hPwn3r3r]

Wat


Also, no.

We've got something good going.

[Triprift]

Just be honest with your folks if they love you they will understand surelly.

And even if they arnt happy to bad your 19 you can make your own decisions its your life.

With my ex my folks and family in general wernt happy the main concern being she was younger than me but i didnt care.

At the worse move out true love wins in the end and if not then at least you tried.

Oh yeah and grats got yaself a looker there. (toast)

[MRCL]

Just don't lie. Parents have the ability to detect a lie, which makes the situation worse.
Tell them there is this girl, I love here, tell them a bit about here, her family... then slip in that she lives in Detroit. There may be a bit of a tough dialog, but if you stay calm and reason with arguments, your folks will understand. If you begin shouting at them, that won't help.

And, a girl always sucks up time and money, wether she lives in your neighboeurhood or Tajikiztan.

[T3hPwn3r3r]

Just don't lie. Parents have the ability to detect a lie, which makes the situation worse.
Tell them there is this girl, I love here, tell them a bit about here, her family... then slip in that she lives in Detroit. There may be a bit of a tough dialog, but if you stay calm and reason with arguments, your folks will understand. If you begin shouting at them, that won't help.

And, a girl always sucks up time and money, wether she lives in your neighboeurhood or Tajikiztan.
Eh, I've had more expensive girls locally. 40$ in gas a month in nothing.

[xfire]

My parents think I'm to young to feel love:mad: Askin me to stop.

Depends on your parents man but being honest is the best option, gotta get them to understand.

[jmcslob]

Love all you want but your school comes first...then your penis....then food..

Juggle that and I think your parents will be ok

[pbmaster]

If both of you want it to work, it most likely will. However, I've also heard all what you've said before. I too thought I had the perfect situation with my GF..I couldn't get enough time with her, she was so perfect, blah blah blah. Now it's all I can do do stand going over there on the weekends...3 days out of the week is more than enough. Only reason it's not over yet is I'm afraid she'll freak the F out. What I'm saying is...you two are both still very young and just getting into the world and your own lives. Do not..I repeat do NOT commit to anything life-altering at this point.

[momentomoir]

If both of you want it to work, it most likely will. However, I've also heard all what you've said before. I too thought I had the perfect situation with my GF..I couldn't get enough time with her, she was so perfect, blah blah blah. Now it's all I can do do stand going over there on the weekends...3 days out of the week is more than enough. Only reason it's not over yet is I'm afraid she'll freak the F out. What I'm saying is...you two are both still very young and just getting into the world and your own lives. Do not..I repeat do NOT commit to anything life-altering at this point.

me and pp did its working out perfectly i spend everyday with him and like any normal relationships people annoy eachother alil bit but i willing to live with little annoyances
I say ask your parents if they''ll meet her and her family and go from there

[pbmaster]

I'm not doubting its potential or anything, I think it's great they feel the way they do. I was just stating what can happen. And you are 100% right about annoyances. But making it work despite those things is the beauty of a good relationship.

[momentomoir]

I'm not doubting its potential or anything, I think it's great they feel the way they do. I was just stating what can happen. And you are 100% right about annoyances. But making it work despite those things is the beauty of a good relationship.

yepp:D
but imho if you can work it out and you think itll last you should go for it but just gotta keep in mind the hardships that will come with it

[Triprift]

You cant make everyone happy and if your folks get upset well your 19 you love her and thats all that matters. Surelly they cant hold you to ransom with the we do everything for ya stuff if they said that then move you might have to slum it for a while but hey it will be worth it in the end.

[jmcslob]

Honestly....
You are young..
I don't doubt your love or passion for her..

but your young...and will not understand for awhile yet but I'll say it anyways...

Don't be so serious..

Finish school if it's meant to be it will be...If not you learn

But she cannot be your main focus for now..
do what you have to do





You look love drunk in that Picture
Is she your First?

[Deusxmachina]

They need to know though.

Well, there you are then.

[DaMulta]

Just don't get her prego then tell them....

[T3hPwn3r3r]

Honestly....
You are young..
I don't doubt your love or passion for her..

but your young...and will not understand for awhile yet but I'll say it anyways...

Don't be so serious..

Finish school if it's meant to be it will be...If not you learn

But she cannot be your main focus for now..
do what you have to do





You look love drunk in that Picture
Is she your First?
I'm not drunk, just Mexican.

Also, I plan on finishing school, and we've been a year already with me making many trips up there, money is no problem, I make almost as much as my parents.

Either way, I know it'll work. I've had little relationships before, but I'm positive this is the real deal :)

[MRCL]

I'm not drunk, just Mexican.

That made me laugh so hard you have no idea.

[DanTheBanjoman]

We've got something good going.

Is it freedom of alcohol, drugs, and open sex?


Btw I recall this discussion from some time ago, in the end I win and everyone agrees women are deceiving sluts.

[Black Panther]

T3hPwn3r3r your girl looks really sweet and beautiful. May her personality be just as sweet and beautiful! :)
And yours aren't 'mexican eyes' (I lol'd too) but love-stricken eyes.

in the end I win and everyone agrees women are deceiving sluts.

:rolleyes:(r)(u)(ww)

You can't generalize I guess.

I can't help thinking... either you write like this to give a (nutkick) to me and MM... or... perhaps once a woman really really hurt your feelings.:confused:

Kinda.....

http://img.techpowerup.org/100104/funny-pictures-puppy-is-about-to-get-a-lifelong-fear-of-cats.jpg

[DanTheBanjoman]

I can't help thinking... either you write like this to give a (nutkick) to me and MM... or... perhaps once a woman really really hurt your feelings.:confused:


I am hurt. :(

[Black Panther]

I am hurt. :(
Because of what? Of what I said or something else :confused:

Edit: Remembers Dan's sarcasm... (slap)

[Papahyooie]

Well youre an adult. You know your parents, and you know what they will do. Will they kick you out? If so there you go. Make your decision. Girl or free rent? If they wont kick you out, then they'll just have to deal with it.

Something else to think about though... what are the laws in your state? Here in arkansas I'm pretty sure anyone under 18 is considered stagitory. So you have to think about both your parents and her parents, will anyone try to file charges against you? cause then you might be spending a good deal of your relationship (and most likely the end of it) in jail.

My advice for now: ask your parents how they feel about it. If they forbid it, then grin and bear it until she turns 18. Then make your choice, do you want to be with this girl or do you want a free place to live? Your parents will come around to the girl eventually (as long as your parents arent psychos and I didnt get that impression from you). Either way if youre talking about moving to where she is, wait till she's 18.

[DaMulta]

Just soooo mean BP.

[T3hPwn3r3r]

Well youre an adult. You know your parents, and you know what they will do. Will they kick you out? If so there you go. Make your decision. Girl or free rent? If they wont kick you out, then they'll just have to deal with it.

Something else to think about though... what are the laws in your state? Here in arkansas I'm pretty sure anyone under 18 is considered stagitory. So you have to think about both your parents and her parents, will anyone try to file charges against you? cause then you might be spending a good deal of your relationship (and most likely the end of it) in jail.

My advice for now: ask your parents how they feel about it. If they forbid it, then grin and bear it until she turns 18. Then make your choice, do you want to be with this girl or do you want a free place to live? Your parents will come around to the girl eventually (as long as your parents arent psychos and I didnt get that impression from you). Either way if youre talking about moving to where she is, wait till she's 18.

We have 6 months till she's 18, so I might as well just keep hiding it. I'm not moving up there, even though her family like me enough that they'd probably applaude it :P Either way, age of consent in both of our states is 16 and my parents ARE psychos, SOOOOO....

[T3hPwn3r3r]

Is it freedom of alcohol, drugs, and open sex?


Btw I recall this discussion from some time ago, in the end I win and everyone agrees women are deceiving sluts.

My girl isn't a deceiving sluts, and I don't do drugs.

Open sex... I'm not sure what you mean by open...

I partied my ass off on New Years Eve. I just believe in drinking in moderation (not passing out or doing things I regret)

[MT Alex]

I believe everyone should use moderation, in moderation. (toast)

Geez, don't be in such a hurry to get on with life. Before you know it you'll be up to your armpits in Montessori brats, wondering what happened to the hair on your head and why it's moved to your nose, ears and back. Meanwhile, you pissed away your youth singing in the proverbial choir...

Everyone that's 19 and getting a steady piece from a girl who isn't even 18 is head over heels, heart pumping, hand sweating, madly in love.

Take it from me, I started dating my wife when she was just turning 16 and I was 18. Yup, high school sweathearts. Her parents hated me because I was older, and they knew I was probably getting mileage off their daughter. Well, we didn't get married until 2000, I was 27 and she was 24. We dated the whole time between '92 and 2000 and had some fantastic times. Moved in with her in 1996 while she was finishing school, I was finished and decided to use my history/philosophy majors to become a carpenter. Anyway, the point of that useless diatribe is that life is a long time, don't get so involed with things that seem so important now. If there is nothing to be gained by your parents knowing your situation, don't tell them.

In my experience, life turns out to be pretty damn good despite how much you worry or decide to turn things into "miniature soap operas" along the way.:)

[Jizzler]

Good advice. Though for me I just like to think that I'm not in a hurry, I'm just doing things out of order ;)

Now 28 and 29, my wife and I were 17 and 18 when we hooked up. Our kids are 4, 7 and some say that we were too young back then. I would probably say that was well :D But it happened and we handled it. Now we're doing pretty good as we don't sweat the petty.


BTW, if you do a lot of finish work I have Mahogany, Wild Tamerind, other Florida native, and exotics if you need a source.

[RevengE]

lol dude you are 19 do what you want. if they dont want you to be happy o well

[T3hPwn3r3r]

I believe everyone should use moderation, in moderation. (toast)

Geez, don't be in such a hurry to get on with life. Before you know it you'll be up to your armpits in Montessori brats, wondering what happened to the hair on your head and why it's moved to your nose, ears and back. Meanwhile, you pissed away your youth singing in the proverbial choir...

Everyone that's 19 and getting a steady piece from a girl who isn't even 18 is head over heels, heart pumping, hand sweating, madly in love.

Take it from me, I started dating my wife when she was just turning 16 and I was 18. Yup, high school sweathearts. Her parents hated me because I was older, and they knew I was probably getting mileage off their daughter. Well, we didn't get married until 2000, I was 27 and she was 24. We dated the whole time between '92 and 2000 and had some fantastic times. Moved in with her in 1996 while she was finishing school, I was finished and decided to use my history/philosophy majors to become a carpenter. Anyway, the point of that useless diatribe is that life is a long time, don't get so involed with things that seem so important now. If there is nothing to be gained by your parents knowing your situation, don't tell them.

In my experience, life turns out to be pretty damn good despite how much you worry or decide to turn things into "miniature soap operas" along the way.:)
Hey now, I never said children or marriage were in order anytime soon.

I don't know where everyone keeps getting that. Though it's a serious relationship, we both have other things we'd like to accomplish first WAY before starting a family (travel, education, etc). I've got about 51 more countries to knock off of the list of places I've gotta see before I tie myself down with kids.

But I just don't like getting drunk :P

[T3hPwn3r3r]

Good advice. Though for me I just like to think that I'm not in a hurry, I'm just doing things out of order ;)

Now 28 and 29, my wife and I were 17 and 18 when we hooked up. Our kids are 4, 7 and some say that we were too young back then. I would probably say that was well :D But it happened and we handled it. Now we're doing pretty good as we don't sweat the petty.


BTW, if you do a lot of finish work I have Mahogany, Wild Tamerind, other Florida native, and exotics if you need a source.

Think you can make body blanks for guitars? Think you could locate some Brasilian rosewood on the cheap? Hoping to build a Jackson soloist copy :D

[Jizzler]

I don't have any here, but I'll pass along the request to my dad. He's has a much larger stockpile and selection.

[Ozzmanfloyd120]

pwn3r, where are you from anyway?

[Papahyooie]

Weeell, if youre not looking at anything serious (meaning marriage) then don't do anything. If you've still got wild oats to sow and you're not willing to give it up, then i'm sorry to say but you probably wont last anyway, so dont alienate your parents.

The only reason I say that is because when I was 18 i WAS ready to give up the sowing of said oats and get married. It didnt end up happening that way but I know that had it worked out I would have been totally fine settling down. If youre not ready for that, then dont do anything rash.

[momentomoir]

You can't generalize I guess.

I can't help thinking... either you write like this to give a (nutkick) to me and MM... or... perhaps once a woman really really hurt your feelings.:confused:

Kinda.....

http://img.techpowerup.org/100104/funny-pictures-puppy-is-about-to-get-a-lifelong-fear-of-cats.jpg
lol
I am hurt. :(

dan would you like to talk about your pain
http://amyletinsky.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/therapy-cat.jpg
if im a slut its only for one guy and if i sleep with one guy im not a slut :P
im not deceiving either

[T3hPwn3r3r]

Weeell, if youre not looking at anything serious (meaning marriage) then don't do anything. If you've still got wild oats to sow and you're not willing to give it up, then i'm sorry to say but you probably wont last anyway, so dont alienate your parents.

The only reason I say that is because when I was 18 i WAS ready to give up the sowing of said oats and get married. It didnt end up happening that way but I know that had it worked out I would have been totally fine settling down. If youre not ready for that, then dont do anything rash.

Believe me, I'd commit further, but that's just illogical and unreasonable as I have a full ride to a four year school.

As for the person who asked where I'm from? Kentucky!

[Papahyooie]

Good luck with it then man... unfortunately for her, i'm almost certain you'll love college and um... everything that comes with it.

[Ozzmanfloyd120]

As for the person who asked where I'm from? Kentucky!

That's not too bad of a drive.
Honestly I say if she makes you happy then go for it, because if you can't be happy in life then what's the point of living? I mean I wouldn't be like "Hey mom and dad I've been driving to the D every weekend." but I would be like "Hey, I want to talk about something with you, there's this girl in Michigan that I really want to be with and all and I think this might go somewhere." Because odds are they are already on to you and if you approach it calm and mature like they're less likely to bring the conversation to a halt. I know my parents never let on to how much they were letting me get away with when I was still living with them.