Long Story about EX-g/f should i attempt to reconnect with her?

[pepsi71ocean]

Ok this is a very long story but i want some honest opinions.

Way back in 2007 i dated my ex well g/f back then. It didn't end well, her mother split us up and eventually we stopped talking (when school ended). I graduated and was an emotional wreck.

Depending on who your talking to, Mary(my EX) said she wanted to be with me, however her mother called my dad to tell me that we broke up, and sighted that mary wanted to see other guys(this is the story my dad told me)

Now at the same time that happened i told Mary what my dad told me and she said that it wasn't true, so the question back then was who was telling the truth.

So her mom broke us up in febuary, in April of 2007 (she turned 17) we met up and did quote often till june when her mom got mary to believe that i put a hit on her neighbor or some crap(long story, lol)

So in Late May was the last time we were FWB, and well we agreed that we would meet up at Doyals on her 18th birthday.

Anyways, in july of 2007 was the last time i talked to her. In august of 2008 my lady friend Kayle and my sister went to Calloways(where she works) she didn't say anythign to me, but just kept a blank stair, and my sister said hi. She was serving tables. We had another person as a waitress.


My dad randomly will talk about her to this day, some times he says that she asks about me and he says things like i never ammounted to anything and that im still working etic. Do you think my dad would make me seem like that to my ex???????????


on her 18th birthday i was stuck working and couldn't get off, so there is no way i can tell if she showed up or not. We promised that we would meet up regardless of what happened.

Now here we are almost 2 years later in 2009 and well even though i have a g/f i miss her, i want to talk to her. Im just afraid and unsure how to go about it.

I still have her email, aim and cell number, she comes on aim now more often now lately these last few months to be exact. Im just not sure what to do. Its been a long time.


Part of me wants to ask her out to lunch and see how we have changed, and the other part wants to try and get back with her.

The part of me that wants to get back with her wants me to try and impress her, and the other part of me says i should only try and reconnect with her once i become successful in life.


This has been causing me lost sleep and restless nights for over a month now, im to the point of not sure what to do. Whats so fucked up is that my current g/f and i i have feelings for some days and other days i don't, I still have feelings for my ex which some would say is totally fucked up even after 2 years. But im to the point where i don't know where to go.

Anyone have any advice?

[FordGT90Concept]

I'm no expert but I would start with an AIM convo but be polite about it. If she doesn't want to chat about it, don't push it.

It sounds like the feeling of self-doubt is crushing you (the belief that you aren't "good enough"). You'll need answers to lift that burden.

[pepsi71ocean]

well part of the self-doubt is that if i had any chance i would need to show vast maturity from where i was before.

IDK im not sure what to do. i have a feeling that i'll have only 1 shot and im not sure if i should walk up and talk to her, or talk to her over AIM. i know she was shy in HS and we started by talking over aim and idk my mind is racing right now.

[FordGT90Concept]

You know, she could be on AIM just hoping for you to start a convo with her. Try to be optimistic. :D

[pepsi71ocean]

You know, she could be on AIM just hoping for you to start a convo with her. Try to be optimistic. :D

that thought has occurred to me. I mean she wasn't on aim for over 2 years, and now she is on again some times. usually a few times a week.

I know that im not on her contacts list but im not sure if she will remember who i am lol.

[FordGT90Concept]

In which case, I would call her cell phone (dodge the mom) and ask her if she wants to catch up sometime. Take her out to dinner, to a park, or something to get caught up on the last year+. Don't be surprised if she's dating someone else. Go with a "just friends" objective in mind.

[pepsi71ocean]

In which case, I would call her cell phone (dodge the mom) and ask her if she wants to catch up sometime. Take her out to dinner, to a park, or something to get caught up on the last year+. Don't be surprised if she's dating someone else. Go with a "just friends" objective in mind.

im almost sure she wouldn't answer, she has this think about not answering ghost numbers etic. So i though txting her first might be better, but i figured if i was going to go through that trouble then im almost better off going to her work and asking her to go out sometime.

Im not sure if that is to direct, and thus the AIM thing came back into the circle.

IDK, part of me wants to wait until i become a successful futures trader and make alot of money and can afford things so that maybe there is some spark, i did tell her at one time i wouldn't return until i was successful, but after 2 years who know what she thinks about me.

[btarunr]

Try getting in touch without seeming intrusive or in a hurry. If she isn't looking interested at a normal friendship, don't waste your time any further.

[pepsi71ocean]

Try getting in touch without seeming intrusive or in a hurry. If she isn't looking interested at a normal friendship, don't waste your time any further.

how should i go about that without not coming off as intrusive or rushing anything. What do you suggest AIM or should i just go to her job and see if i can spark a convo?

do you think a cell phone call might be creepy?

[FordGT90Concept]

IDK, part of me wants to wait until i become a successful futures trader and make alot of money and can afford things so that maybe there is some spark, i did tell her at one time i wouldn't return until i was successful, but after 2 years who know what she thinks about me.
Holy gold digger. Drop everything and run. :cool:

Relationships are about immaterial transactions, not material. Material is just a means to express the immaterial aspects. If a relationship is about material transactions, it is guaranteed to end in divorce should marriage even be obtained. Once the money is gone, the "love" is gone too. Bad, bad, bad.


It all makes sense now. I bet her father is thilthy rich, no? Mother is a gold digger, no? Mother sees her daughter dating someone average and doesn't accept it so she jumps in and breaks it up. The question is if your ex-girlfriend agrees or disagrees with her mother. If she's giving you the cold shoulder, her mother must have convinced her that gold digging is the only way to go turning her into a gold digger as well. In other words, get out unless you want her spending all your money.

[btarunr]

do you think a cell phone call might be creepy?

It shouldn't. Be at your confident, witty, and jovial best. Make your conversation revolve around a lot of 'current' things, and try not digging into the past for things to speak on.

[pepsi71ocean]

Holy gold digger. Drop everything and run. :cool:

Relationships are about immaterial transactions, not material. Material is just a means to express the immaterial aspects. If a relationship is about material transactions, it is guaranteed to end in divorce should marriage even be obtained. Once the money is gone, the "love" is gone too. Bad, bad, bad.


It all makes sense now. I bet her father is thilthy rich, no? Mother is a gold digger, no? Mother sees her daughter dating someone average and doesn't accept it so she jumps in and breaks it up. The question is if your ex-girlfriend agrees or disagrees with her mother. If she's giving you the cold shoulder, her mother must have convinced her that gold digging is the only way to go turning her into a gold digger as well. In other words, get out unless you want her spending all your money.

quite the opposite, her mom ran her household, but there was a social class difference (as they viewed it), they were dirt poor, and well my dad was a doctor, and so her parents looked at it as if they were sub human to us(WTF? I know)...

Her dad was embarrassed because i was smarter then he was, they never went to college, but neither did i, but im sure that the love was reciprocal back then, the question is what to do now.

[btarunr]

The first thing you do when you're in talking terms again, is to systematically eliminate your parents' involvement in your friendship/relationship. Shit happens when parents poke into their 18+ yr olds' private life. Again, as long as you're handling things responsibly. At your age, you are very much entitled to a private life of your own.

[FordGT90Concept]

quite the opposite, her mom ran her household, but there was a social class difference (as they viewed it), they were dirt poor, and well my dad was a doctor, and so her parents looked at it as if they were sub human to us(WTF? I know)...

Her dad was embarrassed because i was smarter then he was, they never went to college, but neither did i, but im sure that the love was reciprocal back then, the question is what to do now.
That's...backwards. (where's my laugh icon :confused:)

Just make sure it isn't about material objects and you'll be fine.

I'm with Btarunr, you need to open a communication channel first. It doesn't matter what channel is used so long as it happens. A phone conversation might be the least ackward.

[btarunr]

Yes, the reason I suggested a phone call was that it has a more human touch to it than IM/email, and portrays you as more confident.

[pepsi71ocean]

EDIT: btarunr: you do have a good point, do you think that a phone call would be better then say a direct conversation?

You think that something like "Hey mary long time no see, how are you?" and see if she answers.

Do you think she would answer?

[btarunr]

If you can bump into her, all the better. To that particular question, anyone, including her, should have the courtesy of replying nicely. Again "long time, no see" makes sense only in a direct conversation :)

[RevengE]

First you need to tell your current "GF" how you feel about your ex. I don't Like cheaters, so show her some respect(if you plan on doing something out of line)

[Wile E]

I think the short answer to this long story is to just forget about her already. It's long past time to move on.

[RevengE]

I think the short answer to this long story is to just forget about her already. It's long past time to move on.

I agree.

[T3hPwn3r3r]

Call her up, see how it goes - if you can get your long lost romance back into swing and feel that it would be better for the both of you - then do it.

If not... why the hell are you wasting your time asking us? ;)

[yogurt_21]

I agree.

third it.

[Fitseries3]

i'd say call her up, take her out somewhere nice, then bone her. see how you feel afterwards.

if you feel attached then keep seeing her.

if you dont feel much then move on.

[WhiteLotus]

OK hang on.

Don't take this the wrong way but....


You're young, get over her. You WILL find someone else.