How to shut a woman up?

[jmcslob]

Serious question!...How do you get them to stop babbling on and on and on and on about work, the drive to the store, or about what this person did or what that person did..But mostly about work...

Ive tried to say i don't FUCKING CARE!!!! GOD DAMMIT!!!...Ive tried to suggest another subject..Ive tried to ignore the subject...Ive tried to watch TV, Walk the dog, clean the house....

Everyday when the wife gets home I gotta hear about something someone did at work in great length..Followed by what someone did on the drive home..and then something else at random about what someone did at work Usually while trying to watch TV....

I'll even very rudely sigh when it starts...

So any suggestions?

[FordGT90Concept]

Ice cream!

[CyberDruid]

Leave the immediate area.

This is why men have sheds, garages, workshops, mancaves, dens. treehouses, fishing holes, hunt camps etc etc etc.

There is no way to shut her up. The answer is to vacate.

[jmcslob]

Lol

[twilyth]

It's like trying to block the vent on a pressure cooker. Either you fail outright or you succeed and blows up in your face. It's a force of nature and can't be tamed.

The only solution is to make sure there is another female available to listen to her and share her own stories. A close neighbor would be ideal, but phoning a friend can be just as useful. However you will need to rotate them so they don't wear out - just like tires.

You can say, hey, you haven't talked to Jane or Fran or Suzy in a while have you? I bet they'd like to hear from you - like, right now.

[Namslas90]

Well, you could always turn off the TV, Pay attention, Listen to her express her self, Be interested in her life enough to care(or at least pretend to), comment, respond and support her the way you expect her to support you when you want to get a new man toy.

Hell if you did that, you might even become closer(and get a bonus).

Unless of course she's not your significant other, in that case throw her the fuck OUT!

[hellrazor]

Stop trying to distract yourself and start trying to distract her. The problem is her, fix the problem.

Of course you could grab her and start kissing her on the neck and whatnot to distract both of you at the same time (you might try kissing her on the mouth, but it's a high risk area as it is currently being used at the moment).

[Bundy]

Originally Posted by CyberDruid

Leave the immediate area.

This is why men have sheds, garages, workshops, mancaves, dens. treehouses, fishing holes, hunt camps etc etc etc.

There is no way to shut her up. The answer is to vacate.

^^^

The only way. Once you have declared that they are your significant other, they own your ears.

[entropy13]

Be careful though, especially if she reads Cosmopolitan. As Cracked.com noted already, WHATEVER YOU DO, you're most likely cheating.

If you try listening to her, "hmmm, he might be covering up for something."

If you go somewhere else, "hmmm, he's hiding something from me."

If you do neither, "hmmm, he's thinking I might notice anything if he does nothing."

LOL

[twilyth]

Honestly, I do like to hear about my gf's life. The problem I have is with the seemingly endless detail. Guys learn early on to keep it simple. Well, some do. I was raised by my mom and gramma, so I used to be more loquacious and do the same thing. Still do from time to time but I'm getting better at catching myself.

Anyway, the best thing to do is to try to reach a compromise and explain that you are really interested but you don't need to know every word, posture and facial expression involved in every exchange with every person they encountered.

This will be a difficult concept to express in a way the woman will understand. They tend to regard any desire for them to get to the fucking point as disinterest or a lack of caring. All you can do is try to explain that some information is crucial to their story but most of it is not.

Probably the best way to do this is with examples. So you can try to listen to their entire monologue and then summarize with the points that are actually of interest. Some women will understand this concept and others will have a great deal of difficulty with it. All you can do is be gently persistent.

[de.das.dude]

put a dick in hr mouth?? LOL
or... start cuddling her and make her get horny.

[infanrtry18]

Give her food. Her favorite food. Whatever that is. Most women like good chocolate. She will be surprised and therefore speechless. Enjoy the silence. And the praise.

[CyberDruid]

No. no. no. Just leave and go do some manly shit brah. Chicks dig guys who don't have time for them...trust me on this.

[de.das.dude]

Originally Posted by CyberDruid

No. no. no. Just leave and go do some manly shit brah. Chicks dig guys who don't have time for them...trust me on this.

i think you have an incorrect definition of guys. real guys stand and face what is thrown at them. Pansies like you run away and hide in their shed.

[DanTheBanjoman]

Stick your manmeat in her mouth.

[MRCL]

Originally Posted by de.das.dude

i think you have an incorrect definition of guys. real guys stand and face what is thrown at them. Pansies like you run away and hide in their shed.

You Sir have a lot to learn.

[Steevo]

Reaize women dont want you to fix their problems, they want you to listen and say. "I know what you mean" and justify their feelings.


A easy way to get her to give you a moments peace when you get home is to talk to her and tell her you need a few moments when you get home to collect your thoughts so you can give her the attention she deserves. If she doesnt understand this, then tell her you can listen, but she will need to blow you every night after to then relieve your stress.

[DaMulta]

Originally Posted by DanTheBanjoman

Stick your manmeat in her mouth.

agreed

[DaMulta]

Originally Posted by de.das.dude

i think you have an incorrect definition of guys. real guys stand and face what is thrown at them. Pansies like you run away and hide in their shed.

LOL

You have a lot to learn. Don't you knoe the KING Asshole in the house ALWAYS WINS!

[jmcslob]

Problem is after awhile of giving her the manmeat the manmeat gets sore...Ive tried doing that and the woman is good to go 3+ times a day everyday....

My solution thus far is this...take her out of the house to give her something new to think about.....and ive explained to her that she only gets 20 minutes...I had to do it....I told her it's not that I don't care but everyday for hour or more is literally driving me insane...LOL At first she seemed to be annoyed until I explained it like this...

When you (ma wife) go to the gas station to get gas and someone cuts you off you explain something like this...

So I pulled out of the driveway and started going down the road and i noticed a couple of kids walking down the street not even paying attention that I was coming up behind them so I went slower until they noticed me and I went around them and the one kid looked like he was annoyed by me going around them so I flicked him off...When I got to the light it turned red so I had to wait and the kids almost caught up to where I was but then the light turned green so i went which is good because I didn't want to see them you never know they might be pissed and try to do something to me..Then someone in a green S-10 with a red cap on it almost pulled out in front of me so I slowed down but he didn't go he came to a stop and i kept going. As I was approaching the Viaduct just as it went to two lanes the guy in the red S-10 with the green cap tried to go in the left lane ahead of me as he was still behind me So I hugged the lane until it was completely two lanes..After i got over the Viaduct i got in the left lane to turn left and i noticed a police car across the street but I got a left turn arrow and made my left turn and as i was going down the street behind the city building a Squirrel ran out in front of and I had to slam my breaks and the guy behind me beeped and I was like WTF Jesus christ WTF you know you know I mean seriously what was I supposed to do run over the Squirrel..Fucking assholes..That really pissed me off cause there just wasn't any reason for that but anyways so I was going down the road behind the city building and turned right going towards Quick fuel but I had to wait on another light and I noticed this girl walking her dog and it was such a cute doggy yes it was...It looked so happy walking down the street...btw do you wanna take Oliver for a walk in a little bit...i bet it would make him happy just like that happy doggy...Oh did I tell youy about this kid at work OMG just OMG they had to fire him because he was a no call no show but it's because he GF had a miscarriage and she was a little broken up but the didn't care because he already missed to many days..Oh yeah so the light turned green and as I was going through the intersection this guy in an 80's Camaro must have been in a hurry because he just floored it and cut in front of me and he looked like the guy from Kesha's tic toc video almost exactly...you know what I mean one of those people stuck in the 80's ewww gross..but after he went buy i pulled into pump #7 or number 8 no No it was 7 because I remember i had to look back to see what the pump was because the pay at the pump thingy wasn't working AGAIN! like OMG I hate that they should just get another one already cause I'm tired of that happening...So while I in the store waiting to pay in line behind this old lady playing the lotto which took forever..i think they should make those people wait for people that wanna get gas and go..I noticed they had tolberline chocolate thingys and I almost got one but then i noticed a Strawberry Charleston chew...like 5 minutes later i finally got to pay then the gas pump was working so slow...it was driving me crazy and then on my way back those same stupid kids were walking back and weren't paying attention so this time I beeped at em so they would get out of the way faster...besides they shouldn't be on the road that's what the sidewalk is for..Can you believe they fired that kid for missing for something like that OMG that's bullshit...

Then I said all I get from that is someone where you work was fired for bad attendance and someone in a Camaro cut you off...and that's all you need to say....

[Namslas90]

Oh man, just toss a qualude into whatever she's drinking.

[CyberDruid]

An Orange ball gag. Tell here you just want to "experiment" with it.

[twilyth]

Originally Posted by jmcslob

Problem is after awhile of giving her the manmeat the manmeat gets sore...Ive tried doing that and the woman is good to go 3+ times a day everyday....

My solution thus far is this...take her out of the house to give her something new to think about.....and ive explained to her that she only gets 20 minutes...I had to do it....I told her it's not that I don't care but everyday for hour or more is literally driving me insane...LOL At first she seemed to be annoyed until I explained it like this...

When you (ma wife) go to the gas station to get gas and someone cuts you off you explain something like this...

snip

Wow. I was getting stabby and strangly just trying to read that.

[Kurosagi]

Originally Posted by jmcslob

Serious question!...How do you get them to stop babbling on and on and on and on about work, the drive to the store, or about what this person did or what that person did..But mostly about work...


Everyday when the wife gets home I gotta hear about something someone did at work in great length..Followed by what someone did on the drive home..and then something else at random about what someone did at work Usually while trying to watch TV....

This is something women generally do to start question,its just stereotypical as i have learn that from my english language course about language in gender lol.
Girls likes to talk about personal things like what did they do,what happened at work they will give every tiny bit of detail and us dudes likes to talk about things that entertain us. Yeah i know i am stating the obvious but i'm just saying its a way for girls to communicate to other people or you or their female friends.

[Wile E]

Originally Posted by Namslas90

Well, you could always turn off the TV, Pay attention, Listen to her express her self, Be interested in her life enough to care(or at least pretend to), comment, respond and support her the way you expect her to support you when you want to get a new man toy.

Hell if you did that, you might even become closer(and get a bonus).

Unless of course she's not your significant other, in that case throw her the fuck OUT!

Wow. That is the most pansy response I have ever heard to a question of this nature. We know who wears the pants in your house, and it sure isn't you. (insert whip cracking smiley here)

Originally Posted by de.das.dude

i think you have an incorrect definition of guys. real guys stand and face what is thrown at them. Pansies like you run away and hide in their shed.

This from the guy that never had a girlfriend? How would you know?

Originally Posted by twilyth

Wow. I was getting stabby and strangly just trying to read that.

More stabby than strangly for me.

I can't imagine having to actually LISTEN to all of that. Once again I am reminded how rare of a woman I have found. She understands that guys think differently, and doesn't get defensive and offended when I tell her something she is doing bothers me. I hate that shit.